Christ is our Advocate against "the Accuser" - 1 John 2:1
In Revelation 12, Satan (the devil) is called "the accuser of the brethren". What he does, is he searches for sin in our lives and goes and tattle tales on us to God. Kind of like in a courtroom, the devil brings charges against us before the throne of God. He presents evidence of our guilt before God. If we're honest, he doesn't have to look very hard to find evidence that we are guilty of breaking God's laws.
I once heard a sermon where this topic of Scripture was used and this man ended his sermon by telling this group of teenagers to "go out into the world and prove the devil wrong this week". Most of the sermon was focused on the devil and who he is and what he does and how bad everyone is because of the devil. I'll give the guy some credit because he did mention that Jesus is our Advocate - 1 John 2:1 - (like our Defense Attorney) before God when the devil brings his accusations to the courtroom. But then, the guy missed the application of this truth completely.
We don't have to "prove the devil wrong". Jesus proves him wrong for us. When we become Christians, then Christ's life becomes our life. His perfection becomes our perfection. His holiness becomes our holiness. So that when we stand before God, we are seen as spotless and blameless children. God doesn't just see us as forgiven sinners. He sees us as if we had never done anything wrong at all. He sees us as if we had done everything perfectly our entire lives. Because He sees us the way He sees Jesus. Jesus never did anything wrong. Jesus did everything perfectly. This is the doctrine of justification.
Not only did Jesus do everything perfectly and live a sinless life for us, He also took the penalty for our sinful lives. This is called propitiation - 1 John 2:2. Jesus absorbed the wrath of God that was directed towards us because of our sin. The devil isn't just looking to accuse us before God. The devil also wants us to be punished for our sins. Jesus took the punishment for our sins though.
So when we stumble, when we mess up, when we sin, and the devil brings the evidence before God hoping that God will pour out His wrath upon us, Jesus stands there as our Advocate saying "That one is mine. He belongs to me. I got him covered. He is not guilty. I paid for His sin."
Here is why we don't need to "prove the devil wrong". If we go out and try to perform perfectly and be good, then we are falling into the devil's trap. This is one of his schemes to get us to be trapped in sin. By getting us occupied in trying to prove ourselves, we are distracted from relying on the perfection Christ has provided. By getting us to work hard and perform the good Christian routine, we get lost in figuring out how we are doing, and miss out on walking by faith and trusting God.
Romans 14:23 - For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
By getting us to rely on ourselves for performance and walking by faith in Jesus, the devil tricks us into sinning.
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
By getting us to try to do it ourselves, the devil gets us to not trust in the grace and goodness of God, leading us to say "look at what I have done" and as it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil (James 4:16).
So how do we not "prove the devil wrong"???
Ephesians 6:11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.
The whole armor of God in Ephesians 6 describes the person that has complete trust and faith in Christ for their salvation, their righteousness, their salvation, their standing before God and that person reminds themselves through prayer, Scripture study, and quality time with other Christians that Christ is our Advocate.
Monday, February 14, 2011
How do I know when I am repenting?
I was asked the question once, "How do we know when we are repenting?", and that got me thinking pretty hard. First, I had to define repentance. If I want to know if I am doing something, then I need to know what that something is. Throughout Scripture, we see repentance as a change in the affections that leads to a change in behavior.
We can repent when we recognize that we have sinned against God. We realize it in our minds that what we have done is evil and against God's law, we realize it in our hearts as we have lost affections for God, and we realize it in our actions as we are performing evil deeds. Upon realizing we are in sin, we repent by turning away from sin and turning towards God with our mind's attention, our heart's affections, and a change in our actions.
When Jesus began His public ministry, He busted on the scene preaching "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel."
Repent from immorality, repent from heresy and blasphemy, repent from believing in false gods, repent from believing in ourselves, repent and BELIEVE IN THE GOSPEL!!!
What does it mean to believe in the Gospel??
John Piper puts it this way -
Here are a few practical ways from the Scriptures that we can check to see if we are repenting.
1. 2Co 13:5 Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves.
The first thing we want to do is a heart check. We need to ask ourselves this question. Are we banking on the life, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ as our only hope for eternal life? or are we banking on our own righteousness? Many times, we will get so caught up in trying to repent, that we will focus on our progress in repentance and not on the finished work of Christ.
2. Joh 15:11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
Jesus, the night before He faces the cross, sits down with His disciples and tells them numerous things concerning what it means to truly be a Christian. He speaks of prayer, abiding in God's word, serving one another, having the Holy Spirit with us, suffering, obedience, and much more. We can look at these things Jesus said and examine our lives by them. The question here is, do I have joy in knowing Christ? Maybe I'm not always chipper. Maybe I have bouts with depression. Maybe life is hitting me too hard right now. But do I have joy in Christ? Do I have a deep and abiding satisfaction in knowing and being known by Jesus?
3. 1Jn 1:6-7 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
John writes to a group of suffering believers. Within their church, there is hypocrisy, heresy, blasphemy, and the government is trying to kill them. John reminds them of the Gospel and he says that through prayer, fellowship with other believers, confession, Bible study, honesty, loving relationships, and other practical implications of the Gospel, they can endure. Am I walking in the light? Am I allowing God to expose me for who I really am? or am I hiding from God and from people and pretending to be someone I'm not?
These are just a few practical ways to know if we are repenting, but there are many more. The main thing is - Are we satisfied in Christ alone? Our life will reveal if we are or not.
We can repent when we recognize that we have sinned against God. We realize it in our minds that what we have done is evil and against God's law, we realize it in our hearts as we have lost affections for God, and we realize it in our actions as we are performing evil deeds. Upon realizing we are in sin, we repent by turning away from sin and turning towards God with our mind's attention, our heart's affections, and a change in our actions.
When Jesus began His public ministry, He busted on the scene preaching "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel."
Repent from immorality, repent from heresy and blasphemy, repent from believing in false gods, repent from believing in ourselves, repent and BELIEVE IN THE GOSPEL!!!
What does it mean to believe in the Gospel??
John Piper puts it this way -
"If I believe that Jesus is the Son of God the same way that I believe that Vladimir Putin is the leader of Russia, have I fulfilled the conditions needed to be saved? Or is there more to belief than that?
We know that it doesn't fulfill the conditions, because the devil believes it. And we know that the devil believes it because when Jesus came into the world and began to confront the demonic powers of the Devil, they said out loud, "We know who you are. You are the holy one of God. You are the Son of God." So the Devil is absolutely orthodox in his belief in the incarnation of the Son of God in Jesus Christ. To believe in orthodox Christology is not to be saved. The Devil is very orthodox when it comes to his understanding of Christ.
So what is missing is not believing in the fact that Jesus is the Son of God but delighting in that fact, embracing that fact, and making Christ the treasure and the Lord of your life by surrendering to him.
In other words, "belief" is seeing him for who he really is, seeing him as infinitely valuable as the Son of God. It's not just acknowledging the fact that he is the Son but also seeing him as infinitely precious and valuable. Satan, on the other hand, does not view God as precious and valuable. He hates Christ and Christ is a threat to his own value.
But when the Holy Spirit begins to work in our lives we're not deceived like that anymore. We recognize that our value is nothing compared to Jesus' value. Instead, we just want to know him, be with him, enjoy him, follow him, and celebrate him. That transition—that change of heart, so that we are now looking away from ourselves to Christ and embracing all that God is for us in him—that is what faith is. That is what belief is. That is what saves."
By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org
There is a change in the desires of our heart, a change in the realities of our mind, and a change in how we live. We surrender ourselves, all of us, all of our being to the Lordship of Christ. Apart from this absolute surrender, then repentance is not real. Apart from believing in the Gospel, repentance is not real.Here are a few practical ways from the Scriptures that we can check to see if we are repenting.
1. 2Co 13:5 Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves.
The first thing we want to do is a heart check. We need to ask ourselves this question. Are we banking on the life, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ as our only hope for eternal life? or are we banking on our own righteousness? Many times, we will get so caught up in trying to repent, that we will focus on our progress in repentance and not on the finished work of Christ.
2. Joh 15:11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
Jesus, the night before He faces the cross, sits down with His disciples and tells them numerous things concerning what it means to truly be a Christian. He speaks of prayer, abiding in God's word, serving one another, having the Holy Spirit with us, suffering, obedience, and much more. We can look at these things Jesus said and examine our lives by them. The question here is, do I have joy in knowing Christ? Maybe I'm not always chipper. Maybe I have bouts with depression. Maybe life is hitting me too hard right now. But do I have joy in Christ? Do I have a deep and abiding satisfaction in knowing and being known by Jesus?
3. 1Jn 1:6-7 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
John writes to a group of suffering believers. Within their church, there is hypocrisy, heresy, blasphemy, and the government is trying to kill them. John reminds them of the Gospel and he says that through prayer, fellowship with other believers, confession, Bible study, honesty, loving relationships, and other practical implications of the Gospel, they can endure. Am I walking in the light? Am I allowing God to expose me for who I really am? or am I hiding from God and from people and pretending to be someone I'm not?
These are just a few practical ways to know if we are repenting, but there are many more. The main thing is - Are we satisfied in Christ alone? Our life will reveal if we are or not.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Training is Crucial
How often have you witnessed a young person being thrust into a crucial leadership position before he or she is ready for the task? I typically witness this happening with the role of Youth Pastor. Perhaps the church is desperately seeking to fill the position and out of desperation they place someone in this role in hopes that the program would remain on life support just a little longer before it finally dies. Most of the time, I see this happen with members within the church. They show up on a weekly basis, therefore, they are automatically qualified to be a pastor (and then we wonder why the sermons suck and kids stop coming?) On the job is not always the best place to learn how to preach. Am I saying you should not preach unless you can communicate like Andy Stanley? No. Am I saying your first sermon will not suck if undergo training beforehand? No, it will still suck. But, you will have a better understanding of the Biblical roles of a pastor by undergoing training underneath another qualified leader. I wholeheartedly belief in some type of internship & mentoring program. We repeatedly see this throughout the Bible: such as Jesus and the 12, Paul and Titus/Timothy. And I believe this should be a lengthy process before you actually serve as a pastor. It should take longer than it takes for you to learn how to bag groceries at Kroeger. Jesus and Paul each spent years with their young mentorees. Becoming a pastor should be a lengthy process. You need the proper training. You need to understand what you are getting yourself into (the dropout rate for pastors is astounding). You need to know how to prepare sermons, counsel, deal with various issues, and learn to work with people. You need to have deep rooted doctrine which only comes with time.
I understand this post does not make much sense coming from a 23 year old. I began serving as a youth pastor at just 22 years of age. Do I believe I was ready for this? Yes. Here's why.... I served as an intern at 3 churches. I began training in sermon preparation at 17 years of age and preached my first sermon shortly after turning 18. I had four years of preaching experience before I took my first job/position as a pastor. I had the opportunity to run the services, counsel students, and teach at the churches I interned for. Most importantly, I was able to sit under the leadership of many godly men who cared for me. Their commitment to my training and my personal growth as a leader was amazing. My ability to lead is a direct result of their commitment to the Kingdom.
Is seminary necessary? No. I do believe you can be a great pastor without ever taking any seminary courses. With that being said, I highly recommend you go to seminary. I fancy myself an educated man, but I still have the desire and need to continue my education so that I can lead my people well. I'm preparing to begin my first semester as we speak. I believe you should be actively involved in ministry as you take classes. Nobody needs an idealist that doesn't know how to actually practice their theories in the church. My advice: If you are not currently seeking to grow your knowledge concerning theology and doctrine, there is not point in going to seminary. You must have the personal desire to grow in your knowledge. You must be disciplined with your studies outside of demands of an institution of higher learning.
But what if they're passionate about leading? All the passion in the world doesn't make it O.k. They're a lot of passionate people who just got it wrong due to ignorance. We need young men who are willing to serve as pastors. We need young men who are willing to put in the time it takes to learn how to serve.
And please don't message me asking if I am talking about you personally. Chances are, I'm probably not. If you're reading this, you're probably not the type of people I'm referring to. But if you are, go find a pastor and train under him for a long time. Shut up and do it. Don't send me a long email telling me how much you know about Max Lucado books or how you just learned what TULIP stands for. If you've never had a job before, pastoring probably shouldn't be your first. If you can't shave yet, pastoring probably shouldn't be your first job. If you can't hold a job, failed out of college because you were lazy, or play XBOX all day while eating Cheetos, pastoring probably shouldn't be your first job. If you are a coward and afraid of people, pastoring is not the job for you. If you constantly seek to please people, if you refuse to tell the truth even if it means you may hurt someones feelings and they never come back, pastoring probably isn't the job for you. As Paul Washer would say, "Gospel ministry isn't for cowards. Preaching may be a job for wild men and crazy people, but it's not for cowards."
Serve well and die slowly. We need a few good men.
-Daniel
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Relief
When I was in kindergarten, there was this girl that liked me. She was always flirting with me, ya know.... picking at me... slapping me then running away, pulling my hair, kicking me in the shins & stuff like that. I did not have the same feelings towards her. I strongly disliked her. Girls had cooties. Cooties kill. Stay away from girls and build forts to defend against cooties. That was my mentality. Most boys are like that I guess.
Well, one day when we were standing in the lunch line, she snuck up behind me, and kept poking me in the back & giggling. I got frustrated to say the least & so I turned around, slapped her lunch tray to the ground & spit in her face. My teacher, who also happened to be my Sunday School teacher at the Baptist Church at the time, saw all this go down and before I knew it, I was dangling in the air by one arm & moving at a very rapid speed towards a hallway while I watched that little girl cry and all my other classmates laugh. Then I got my first school paddling.... I think it was my 3rd or 4th day there.
When I think about Jesus Christ, the Son of God, invading my life, a lot of what has happened over the years is similar to this story.
Here's what I mean....
Jesus loves me. He pursues me. He seeks me out. He is radically wrecking my life daily with grace and mercy and blessings..... when I was dead in sin, He made me alive. when I was lost, He found me. when I was blind, He gave me sight. when I was deaf, He made me to hear. when I was perishing, He rescued me. when I was the object of God's wrath because of my sin, Jesus stepped in and took the wrath for me. when I was unholy and unable to enter God's presence, Jesus made me holy by being holy for me. when I was seeking out pleasure & satisfaction in temporary things that wouldn't fulfill me, Jesus fills me with everincreasing joy. when I try to make it on my own & fail, Jesus steps in and brings the victory for me. when I stumble & fall, Jesus picks me up, dusts me off, & encourages me to keep going. when I can't carry the burdens of life, Jesus gives me rest & carries my burdens for me without making me feel embarrassed for being weak. when it comes time for me to die, Jesus is going to give me immortality. when it comes time for me to step out into eternity, Jesus is going to take me with Him to a place He has prepared for me, a place that is good, beautiful, unstained by sin, a place where death will be no more, neither will there be hunger or crying or pain anymore, a place filled with the love of God. Jesus has done, is doing, and is going to do everything for me to bring me to His Father, to reconcile me to God. even right now in my life, He is doing everything for my good. He is so loving towards me.
You would think my response to all that Jesus is doing would be a very thankful, worshipful, loving response.... right?
well.... not really.... I want to... but I have a hard time trusting Him, I can't seem to believe what He says sometimes & even when I do believe it, I don't usually obey what He says or rest in what He says... I have a hard time surrending my life to Him even though I know He is good and does good... I have a hard time giving up control to Him even though I know He works everything for my good and His glory... I am sinful, hateful, ungrateful, narcissistic, unloving, & rebellious towards Jesus.... it's like spitting in His face.
and I think to myself.... "How could I repay Him this way?"
the next thought that comes to mind is usually some elaborate plan of how I can make it up to Him.
This is where I need the Gospel.
The Gospel tells me that Jesus Christ died for my sins and rose from the grave (1 Cor 15). In Hebrews chapter 9, it says that Jesus Christ died once for sins and only once was it needed and that He now stands in the presence of God on our behalf until the day when He will return to save those of us that are eagerly waiting for Him.
Because Jesus died for my sins, I don't have to die. Because His death was only needed once, He doesn't have to die for me everytime I sin. And because He is standing in God's presence on my behalf, I don't owe God anything. I am not in debt to Him. Not only can I not repay Him, He doesn't expect me to. Christ has made the payment for my sins. Christ has purchased me, rescued me, has me.
God graciously gives us everything, provides everything, does everything for us to know Him and love Him. That's a piece of the good news of the Gospel, that it's all free. If the bank gives you a loan, you have to pay it off. Our salvation is not loaned out to us. Everything about our salvation is a free gift (Ephesians 2).
This might be a terrible illustration but humor me here....
I am a father of two precious little girls. Those little girls could not do a single thing in the world to make me not love them. They have never had to earn my love. I just love them. And when they get older, I am not going to make them repay me for anything that I have given them. Now, my littlest one is still in diapers. Sometimes she fills those diapers up with some smelly poo. I'm not keeping a tab on my little girl that I'm going to wave in her face one day reminding her of her smelly poo filled diapers & demand some repayment for it.
Don't miss this. God sees us as His children. He loves us no matter what we do because Jesus Christ has done everything to make us right in His eyes. He gives us everything. The same way I give my baby diapers and she ruins them, when we think we have ruined what God has freely given us, this isn't really funnny, but, our efforts to repay God is what really looks like smelly poo (Philippians 3). And in the same way that I don't beat my daughter up for ruining those diapers, God doesn't beat us up when we mess up. Jesus has paid the penalty for our sin. So we don't have to try to repay Him and make a real smelly pile of things.
This is beautiful for real. Knowing that God is for us because of Jesus frees us to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, & strength and frees us from tiring ourselves out in pointless efforts to repay Him. Instead of wasting our lives trying to repay God, we eagerly wait for Him to return like the writer of Hebrews says & like Paul says in Philippians 3, we count all our righteous deeds (our efforts) as smelly poo in order that we might gain Christ and be found in Him and know Him and share in His life, sufferings, death, and resurrection.
This is not an easy thing for me though. I still find myself falling back into the mindset of being in debt to God & I am in constant need of the Gospel to remind me that I am not in His debt and that He loves me, that He is for me, & that He is doing everything for my good and His glory.
I hope this is good news for you & pray God will invade your heart with His love for you.
Well, one day when we were standing in the lunch line, she snuck up behind me, and kept poking me in the back & giggling. I got frustrated to say the least & so I turned around, slapped her lunch tray to the ground & spit in her face. My teacher, who also happened to be my Sunday School teacher at the Baptist Church at the time, saw all this go down and before I knew it, I was dangling in the air by one arm & moving at a very rapid speed towards a hallway while I watched that little girl cry and all my other classmates laugh. Then I got my first school paddling.... I think it was my 3rd or 4th day there.
When I think about Jesus Christ, the Son of God, invading my life, a lot of what has happened over the years is similar to this story.
Here's what I mean....
Jesus loves me. He pursues me. He seeks me out. He is radically wrecking my life daily with grace and mercy and blessings..... when I was dead in sin, He made me alive. when I was lost, He found me. when I was blind, He gave me sight. when I was deaf, He made me to hear. when I was perishing, He rescued me. when I was the object of God's wrath because of my sin, Jesus stepped in and took the wrath for me. when I was unholy and unable to enter God's presence, Jesus made me holy by being holy for me. when I was seeking out pleasure & satisfaction in temporary things that wouldn't fulfill me, Jesus fills me with everincreasing joy. when I try to make it on my own & fail, Jesus steps in and brings the victory for me. when I stumble & fall, Jesus picks me up, dusts me off, & encourages me to keep going. when I can't carry the burdens of life, Jesus gives me rest & carries my burdens for me without making me feel embarrassed for being weak. when it comes time for me to die, Jesus is going to give me immortality. when it comes time for me to step out into eternity, Jesus is going to take me with Him to a place He has prepared for me, a place that is good, beautiful, unstained by sin, a place where death will be no more, neither will there be hunger or crying or pain anymore, a place filled with the love of God. Jesus has done, is doing, and is going to do everything for me to bring me to His Father, to reconcile me to God. even right now in my life, He is doing everything for my good. He is so loving towards me.
You would think my response to all that Jesus is doing would be a very thankful, worshipful, loving response.... right?
well.... not really.... I want to... but I have a hard time trusting Him, I can't seem to believe what He says sometimes & even when I do believe it, I don't usually obey what He says or rest in what He says... I have a hard time surrending my life to Him even though I know He is good and does good... I have a hard time giving up control to Him even though I know He works everything for my good and His glory... I am sinful, hateful, ungrateful, narcissistic, unloving, & rebellious towards Jesus.... it's like spitting in His face.
and I think to myself.... "How could I repay Him this way?"
the next thought that comes to mind is usually some elaborate plan of how I can make it up to Him.
This is where I need the Gospel.
The Gospel tells me that Jesus Christ died for my sins and rose from the grave (1 Cor 15). In Hebrews chapter 9, it says that Jesus Christ died once for sins and only once was it needed and that He now stands in the presence of God on our behalf until the day when He will return to save those of us that are eagerly waiting for Him.
Because Jesus died for my sins, I don't have to die. Because His death was only needed once, He doesn't have to die for me everytime I sin. And because He is standing in God's presence on my behalf, I don't owe God anything. I am not in debt to Him. Not only can I not repay Him, He doesn't expect me to. Christ has made the payment for my sins. Christ has purchased me, rescued me, has me.
God graciously gives us everything, provides everything, does everything for us to know Him and love Him. That's a piece of the good news of the Gospel, that it's all free. If the bank gives you a loan, you have to pay it off. Our salvation is not loaned out to us. Everything about our salvation is a free gift (Ephesians 2).
This might be a terrible illustration but humor me here....
I am a father of two precious little girls. Those little girls could not do a single thing in the world to make me not love them. They have never had to earn my love. I just love them. And when they get older, I am not going to make them repay me for anything that I have given them. Now, my littlest one is still in diapers. Sometimes she fills those diapers up with some smelly poo. I'm not keeping a tab on my little girl that I'm going to wave in her face one day reminding her of her smelly poo filled diapers & demand some repayment for it.
Don't miss this. God sees us as His children. He loves us no matter what we do because Jesus Christ has done everything to make us right in His eyes. He gives us everything. The same way I give my baby diapers and she ruins them, when we think we have ruined what God has freely given us, this isn't really funnny, but, our efforts to repay God is what really looks like smelly poo (Philippians 3). And in the same way that I don't beat my daughter up for ruining those diapers, God doesn't beat us up when we mess up. Jesus has paid the penalty for our sin. So we don't have to try to repay Him and make a real smelly pile of things.
This is beautiful for real. Knowing that God is for us because of Jesus frees us to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, & strength and frees us from tiring ourselves out in pointless efforts to repay Him. Instead of wasting our lives trying to repay God, we eagerly wait for Him to return like the writer of Hebrews says & like Paul says in Philippians 3, we count all our righteous deeds (our efforts) as smelly poo in order that we might gain Christ and be found in Him and know Him and share in His life, sufferings, death, and resurrection.
This is not an easy thing for me though. I still find myself falling back into the mindset of being in debt to God & I am in constant need of the Gospel to remind me that I am not in His debt and that He loves me, that He is for me, & that He is doing everything for my good and His glory.
I hope this is good news for you & pray God will invade your heart with His love for you.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Tough Skin
I have tough skin. It's very hard for you to say something that will hurt my feelings. I'm not sure that I even had feelings until I was 21 or so. I grew up in such a way that you hid your emotions and you weren't allowed to show weakness. I'm not trying to sound like a Spartan or like a tough guy. I remember crying in Wal-Mart around the age of 3 or 4 because I couldn't have a toy that I wanted. I was throwing a tantrum. My father stood over me and enlightened me to the fact that men don't cry. I was a poor excuse for a 3 year old man. In grade school, if someone made fun of you, you don't let them know they're words hurt. I think this can make you numb if given enough time and practice. I remember being made fun of and how my response was to always find a creative way to hurt them more. If someone cuts you, you cut them back. Perhaps this is why I have tough skin. Mama jokes don't bother me. Daddy jokes don't bother me. You making fun of my beliefs, calling me ignorant, calling me names, none of that bothers me. Sometimes, I even think it's funny myself. Maybe I just don't take myself very serious. Maybe you can become immune to insults. I'm not really sure what it is. It's not that I don't register what the other person is saying, I just don't care. I could careless what most people think about me. I spent the first 19 years of my life trying to please people and trying to live up to their standard. It's a losing game. I realized that I'd never be the person that everyone wanted me to be. I don't think we as humans are designed to be able to handle that load. So, I relied on my tough skin. I honestly believe that sometimes it's a blessing and a curse. I'm not afraid of saying things that seem controversial. I don't mind telling the truth. This seems like a good characteristic to have in my profession. If I hear of another pastor who refuses to tell the truth because he doesn't want to offend anyone, I'm going to punch myself in the throat. But, I also have a tendency to bottle things up and not process them which only results in an eventual explosion of frustration. You know, the desire to break something or kick a puppy (just kidding, i would never break something for no good reason). By the way, did I mention that having tough skin usually breeds sarcasm? I recently had one of those moments where I wanted to exploded. I have quickly learned that in ministry, like life, you simply can't please everyone. I once thought people only twisted the words of famous people like Martin Luther, John Calvin, Mark Driscoll, John Piper, or perhaps Jesus? But I now see that all leaders have a bullseye painted on their chest. I've had people misquote me, twist my words, make up half-truths, make up complete fabrications, criticize, critique (this one is especially comforting when coming from a person who doesn't contribute to the kingdom other than their presence in a pew on Sunday morning. thx for your service.) If you're like me, you want to be able to sulk when you're mad. You just want to put on some country western music and be miserable. I just want the chance to be angry. I just wanted to be angry today. In a moment of weakness, when I didn't have my guard up, God slipped a bible into my hands and the pages landed on Romans. I love the book of Romans. My ESV has stained pages in Romans from the fingers constantly turning there. I started in Romans chapter 12. Bad move if you want to sulk and be angry at people. You ever wanted to be angry about something and then God tricks you into reading Romans ch. 12? Clever move Yahweh. You got me again. I even asked God why He let me read that. I just wanted to be angry for a little while, "I promise I won't kick any puppies." But He wouldn't relent. For some reason, I had to read it over and over and over and over, then I read it from The Message, over and over. I'm starting to think there's a point He's trying to teach me. Maybe? I literally asked, "Why can't you just let me be mad for a little while? And why did you make me read that? Why do I have to love people like that? Why do I have to do hard things?" I'm just being honest. I hope my blog is a safe place to be honest. So, I asked God these questions and I heard Him speak as clear as day. He simply said, "Because I love you." Can you believe that? I almost got mad again. I'm seriously upset and best explanation as to why I shouldn't exercise my right and desire to be mad is, "Because I love you."???? But then I got it. He loves me. That's enough. He loved me when he had every right to be angry with me and every right to hate me for the things I had ever thought, said, or done. A love like that is a little scary. It's scary to love things that seem unlovable or the things that it hurts to love. But that's what He did. I don't think I can be mad anymore. It's hard to stare at an ocean of forgiveness and refuse to give any to your neighbor. If I'm honest, I have a job that would require me to explain God's love for humanity. How can I explain something that I don't understand myself? I can't communicate it to you, I can only choose to love back. I don't want to look at the ocean anymore, I want to dive in. I echo the words of 1 John 4:19, "We love because He first loved us." I talked to my friend and fellow blog contributor Petey Parker about this. He believes God will work into your life the truth of your own messages. I've been asking our students recently to give love freely to all, regardless of race, sexuality, popularity, belief, or deeds. Petey tends to think that God is trying to teach me something in this. He tends to think those messages were more for me than my students. That Jesus fellow is crafty. I realize ministry leaders will be ever be in the public eye. People will watch my life like a hawk trying to find a reason to criticize me and ruin my reputation. Even the hick pastor of a rural church in the middle of nowhere will face this difficult road. Praise God for tough skin and grace that sustains. I assume I could be anywhere working any other job under the sun, but I put my hand to the plow and I'm not planning on looking back sucka! (if you don't understand what sucka is, i suggest you watch this!)
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Life Update
Life is a strange and mysterious creature. There are many highs and lows and everything in between. Many are crippled by the lows. Life can seem as if it just isn't worth living anymore. But I have hope. A hope that exist beyond myself. A hope that rest in the sovereign God of the universe. I have learned that there is joy to be had in life regardless of circumstances. This joy is only available through Jesus who gives freely and to all. You can have joy in life if you only look to Jesus. He is greater than your pain or circumstances. He is still in control. It is Jesus who also allows me find more pleasure in the things that I have been blessed. It is Jesus who allows me to love my wife at a higher level because of love. Food taste better, sleep seems more restful, pain less painful, movies more enjoyable, jokes become even funnier, life becomes worth living. Jesus has allowed me to enter into such an amazing point of my life. My wife will soon deliver our first child, Sawyer Reid Beckworth. My ministry is in a season of bearing much fruit. I have sweet relationships with friends who love me. It is this joy that allows me to face tomorrow. What will I do if all these things are stripped from me? I must say that my hope is in the Lord. He is good. He only does good and I will praise the God who gives and takes away.
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